Friends in Real Life

Is it possible to recognize someone you’ve never actually met? Sure, there’s a romantic notion that all people are connected to each other. Of course there are people who say souls can be connected—everyone’s looking for a familiar face in a crowd. I’m not talking about that. I’m asking: Is it possible to recognize a person whom you’re “friends” with online in real life?

I would say it is one of my primary inquiries, what weight can I put on online relationships. Are they real relationships, real friendships; can you break that digital barrier that blocks one-on-one interaction? Is it possible?

Last week I was out to dinner with my aunt and, as I walked up the stairs, I recognized the back of a bald head at a table. I kept walking until I got around the table; “Hey, I know you,” I proclaimed, forgetting to realize that the table I recognized may not recognize me. See, it was a table of my aunt’s friends whom I’ve become friends with on Facebook. I quickly looked around the table for validation; I knew I wasn’t crazy this had to be them. As my aunt came up the stairs confusion left their eyes, “Abby!”

What a way to actually meet someone, right? On the way home I couldn’t stop thinking about exactly how I recognized them, sure, a face is easy…but the back of a head? That’s pretty impressive. I then realized the frequency of our interaction: As Facebook friends, who almost constantly comment on each other’s posts, there is a considerable level of involvement between the two of us. He shows up in my news feed and I click; I show up on his news feed and he clicks. We are engaging in each other’s lives through photos, videos, and blog posts, anything really. In fifteen minutes on a Facebook profile I can know more than I may have wanted to know about a person, depending on what they post and how often.

Imagine for a moment having a “follower” on the three largest social sites: Facebook, Twitter and Foursquare. Not only would someone know what your social life was like, but they would also know where you are. Kids today, myself included, love that idea. Another friend of mine has said to me, about one hundred times, “I’ve never met someone on Facebook that wasn’t my friend already.” She is always meeting and engaging with new people online in her industry.  She has no reservations about meeting anyone in person; a completely foreign notion considering that from a young age most children are taught to fear strangers.

According to her, “it is absolutely possible to recognize online friends.” Think about it, she’ll say, “You look at their Facebook every time they post. You see pictures all day; you hear how they talk. You’ve probably talked to them once or twice. You know them, just online.”