“Last night, I got bored and wondered onto Match.com. Just to check out the profiles, I promise.” My closest friend had dropped a social bomb; a 23 year old...peeking...at a dating website. Sure, we’ve all thought about it but we don’t talk about it. In a world where ‘everyone who’s anyone’s’ social life is splattered across the Internet the one thing that isn’t, is our love life. Okay, truth be told, dating online is becoming more widely accepted by younger people but there are a few reasons why we don’t really want to talk about it:
I. There is a social stigma with our parents because: “There are thousands of online predators who, ‘only want one thing’”.
II. There’s a social stigma with our generation that: “People who meet people online are only doing it to hook-up, or are completely socially awkward and undateable.”
III. No one wants to admit they paid to meet a boyfriend/girlfriend, and paying for a sex-friend is well...you get the picture.
So why are 23 year old’s on dating websites? Our problem isn’t that we aren’t meeting people, because we are right and left; the problem so many young people run in to is their inability to be vulnerable in person.
A friend recently said, “Social Networking has taken the first date out of the relationship.” What is a first date really? About the same as a profile page: Name, photo, relationship status, looking for, blurbed ‘about me’. In a matter of five minutes we know whether or not we want to see this person again but online dating websites take some of the awkward get-to-know-ya babble out of the equation. There’s little courtship involved, “Simply fill out this survey and we will send your true love to you.” In fact, sites like eHarmony will not let you freely communicate (that is, communicate without some kind of guideline) until you’ve jumped through hoop after hoop.
“I can do whatever I want on the Internet. I can say whatever I want on the internet. I can be whoever I want on the internet,” another friend of mine exclaimed. He explained that it’s almost like being on the phone, but without tonality. “If I post something vulgar on the Internet it doesn’t matter; I guess I feel brave because people can’t see me.” It’s that anonymity that this generation craves because we do not under any circumstances want to seem vulnerable to the opposite sex, to employers, friends, teachers; we cannot be vulnerable to anyone but our online subscribers.
Social networking has also found its way to end relationships as well. Say you meet someone on eHarmony or OKCupid, things are going well and you get to a point where you become Facebook friends. This is a huge step because, “Facebook is private.” You have your little relationship status as “In a Relationship” then you see the little red text box over notifications, “_______ has ended their relationship and is single.” You were just broken up with by Facebook. Ridiculous? Yes. Cold-blooded? Totally. Happens often? Abso-fuckin-lutely. We meet online, we break-up online. Nearly everyone I know has had some cataclysmic news sent to them via text message or Facebook. Peoples in their late teens, and their twenties are looking for two things: Love and recognition, but it seems we cannot openly communicate face-to-face anymore.
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